Super Mario Brothers: Fall of the Mushroom Kingdom
by AaronShawnHeinly
Summary: An adult, high fantasy epic that portrays the Mario Brothers as real people caught up in an outer war of mythical kingdoms and an inner war for identity and purpose.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

In utter blackness rumbled the voices of unholy gods.

"Bring me the scepter and the Mushroom Kingdom shall be yours."

"Your word means nothing to me. I demand a sign."

"Then a sign you shall have. The hearts of the Reishi will not be with the Princess. With the Koopa they shall ally."

xxxx

General Iwata awoke with a gasp. He continued to breath heavy and sweat as he replayed the dream in his memory. The King must know! He bound off his sleeping mat and rushed to ready himself to see King Hiroshi. Moments later the samurai general was sprinting from his tent toward the palace in full gear.

Sunlight glinted off the gold outlines of his red armour. On his right breast was the golden outline of a mushroom that looked like two ears facing each other, one larger, one smaller, on the same stalk. This was the crest of the Reishi.

He ran down the greenest hill bespeckled with bright red tents. Conflict was brewing and the Reishi Samurai had encamped on their own border near the king's secondary palace. In the distance, wide topped mushrooms nearly as big as mountains marked the border. On the other side, the Mushroom Kingdom.

Guards moved aside as the General ran up the stairs of the palace and through the first set of giant wooden doors, through the large dining hall draped with banners of beautiful calligraphy, and finally through the last set of wooden doors with a burst into the council chamber. Immediately the King, who was sitting with a party stood up at the intrusion.

General Iwata bowed.

"My Liege."

"What is it?! Is the Koopa? Have they invaded?" demanded the King.

"No my Liege. I have had a dream."

An older, short man with a glasses and a grey mustache and a large head made to look even larger with a giant mushroom shaped hat common among the people of his race, stood up, curious at the excitement.

"What is it?" said the Toadsman in a western accent. "What is he saying?"

Toadsmen, or Mushroom People, did not speak Reishi. King Hiroshi put out his hand to deflect his foreign guest's questions and continued with his own questions for the general.

"Did you say a dream? General, I will have you know I am in the middle of …"

"If I may, my Liege," Iwata interrupted, still bowing. "I believe it was an omen. A dream from the Seven Spirits."

"Go on then."

"I dreamt we were flanked from the west and the south by forces of the Mushroom

Kingdom and forces of the Koopa."

The King laughed.

"That is no dream, General. That is our present reality, as you know."

The King was getting upset.

"This here is Ambassador Toadsworth of the Mushroom Kingdom. We were just discussing this dilemma and were negotiating a possible solution. I would have you not interrupt me for such a little thing as this. Please tell me there's more."

"Betrayal."

This gave the King pause.

"You may stand."

Iwata stood.

"Who betrays whom?"

"I dreamt we sign an alliance with the Mushroom Kingdom to scare off the Koopa. I dreamt that as soon as the Koopa retreat, the Princess orders an attack on the

Reishi."

"Somebody please tell me what he is saying!" demanded the aggravated ambassador. He was ignored.

"I dreamt that after the Princess invades, the Koopa King returns and rescues the Reishi."

"What you're saying has serious implications. We are talking about a potentially bloody war in which we have yet chosen a side. What makes you so certain that the dream was from the Stars and not from a bad mushroom? The Koopa would not be my choice ally. They are as unpredictable as Chain Chomps."

"The Stars told me so. I heard one of their voices. And then the Spirits showed me a sign in the sky. I drew it on parchment when I woke up."

Iwata retrieved the folded parchment from within his armor and handed it to his king. The king unfolded it.

"Do you know what this is?" asked the King.

"I do not."

"This is...was...my family's secret signet used to verify letters from each other. Only my blood knows this symbol. And I am the last of my blood."

The king set the parchment on a table and calmly addressed the guards.

"Guards, arrest the ambassador."

Toadsworth, who could only follow the conversation as far as he understood the language was shocked and indignant to find guards grabbing both of his arms while others pointed weapons at him.

"What the blazes?! What is this? Unhand me at once! What did he say? I am an ambassador of the Mushroom Kingdom. I came here in peace! This is an act of war! The Princess will have no choice but to retaliate!"

"General Iwata," said the King, "take him to Bowser as a token of our allegiance."

xxxxx

Hundreds of soldiers stood guard at each of the Mushroom City gates, most of them men and Toadsmen, some of them of the Koopa race.

"Halt!" said one of the soldiers to and old Koopa woman pushing a cart of fruit toward the gates. "The sun is setting. We are about to raise the drawbridge and lock the gates. You'll have to stay in Enoki Village for the night.

An old, cracked yellow beak protruded from the woman's dark hood. Besides her turtle-like hands, it was all that could be seen of the creature beneath the cloak.

"Please," croaked the Koopa, "I am old woman. I have brought these melons all the way from Yoshi Island. I am too tired to travel any more. And too poor for an inn. My niece lives in the city. She is expecting me."

The soldier hesitated.

"Very well."

The soldier yelled out some commands and the drawbridge which only just began to be drawn was then lowered back down.

"Do you have anything besides Yoshi Melons in there?" the soldier asked.

"Nothing else," answered the Koopa.

The soldier trusted the old woman enough to avoid doing a thorough search through the cart. The soldier let her by and she passed through the gates into the city.

Not too far from the city gate was a small park on a hill. There was nothing in the park but a small lawn with two benches and some sort of exotic pavillion. The lawn was hedged in by shrubs except for where it led out, down the cobblestone path to the street.

The Koopa woman pushed the cart into the pavillion. The pillars of the pavillion were made to look like stone trees, the tops of which formed into a hundred leafed branches all intricately interweaving with each other, forming a sort of stone lattice top.

The floor was made from stone as well. There was dais in the middle with four handles protruding from its side in each direction. The top of the dais was a tile mosaic of a seven pointed star.

The old hag reached under her cart and withdrew a knotty wooden walking staff. At its top was a black translucent sphere gripped by knotty wooden tendrils. She raised the staff over the cart and all the melons raised up into the air and suspended there. As she lowered the staff, the fruit lowered onto the floor. At the bottom of the cart lay several colored glass or crystal items as large as serving trays. She raised her hands again and the crystals lifted. They were seven and each shaped the same. Stars with seven points. Each star a different color crystal. The sorceress waved her staff about, putting the stars in a certain order. When they were the way she wanted, she guided them each to the upper sides of the pavillion. There were slots in the branchy lattice work that fit the crystal stars. By the power of her staff, she slid them each into place.

By now the sun was down and the moon was out. The sorceress held out her staff to test where its shadow fell on the dais. Since it was to her liking, she continued with her enchantment. She put all her weight into one of the handles and began, slowly at first, to turn the dais. Only the sides of the dais moved. The top stayed still. As she pushed round the dais, the stone tree pillars and the branch-like top spun on some inconspicuous track in the opposite direction. The sound of stone grinding stone could be heard. As the crystal stars moved in circles, they would catch the moonlight at a certain angle and cast it in a new color upon the dais. Unseen gears moved, causing the pavillion sides to spin faster than the dais handles.

When the stars were casting light at the proper intervals, the witch stopped pushing the handles. The star studded trees continued their orbit though the handles had ceased theirs.

The witch climbed to the top of the dais and stood in the rapidly changing colored light. The tile star mosaic beneath her feet suddenly began to illuminate and a pale, blue-ish light rose from the circumference of the platform. The Koopa leaned into her walking staff and disappeared.

xxxxx

Matthias had fantasized about joining the Nebulus Guard since he was a small Luma hearing tales of their legendary feats during the Wishing War a thousand years ago. He had endured the rigorous training as soon as he was old enough but that training did not prepare this 17 year old Star Spirit for this. This waiting. This boring tetium. This nothingness going on and on.

The brown skinned youth with the shoulder length braids stood with spear in hand, side by side with Jesper, the rugged old spirit who had actually fought in the Wishing War. They were stationed before the Star Door, a stone pavillion that was made to look like trees overshadowing a dias. The Star Door was the only thing on the small island floating in the cloudy night sky. This island was bridged to the rest of the floating city of Star Haven by a wide stone road. The Star Door was the only way into Star Haven and therefore seemed to Matthias most likely for action.

But this was not action. He was only four hours into his career and already he was wondering if he spent his life wishing for something he didn't really want.

Matthias opened his mouth to express his discouragement when suddenly the platform within the pavillion began to glow. At first he thought it was his imagination. But then an energy the color of pale moonlight shone up from the Star Door and there was no doubt that this was actually happening.

The two Nebulus Guards poised their spears for a confrontation. An old Koopa woman appeared in the Doorway. She hopped off the platform, walking staff in hand.

"Come no further."

Jesper's old rugged voice was confident as he approached the intruder.

"How did you enter through this door? What business do you have here?"

The woman jerked her staff at the guards. "Fear overtakes you!" she said.

Immediately Jesper dropped his spear and became incorporeal, as spirits can do, and took flight down the road, wearing fear like noose. Matthias stepped back, nearly dropping his own weapon. He had never experience such fear in all his life. He slowly raised his spear again but the witch cast again the same spell.

"Fear overtakes you!"

This time he dropped his spear. His dark skin faded into a glowing, blue-ish translucence, his face looking as if he was staring into his own death. He too flew down the road. Being incorporeal, he did not need to use his feet. He just glided above the long stone walkway toward the floating city as fast as he could.

When he was far enough away, he stopped and looked over his shoulder.

He could see the folds of the witch's cloak begin whip in a wind he couldn't feel. She held aloft her staff and floated into the air. The sphere at the tip of her staff ignited into a furious flame. She then proceeded to draw a large circle of flame, nearly as wide as the road itself. No time to waste. Matthias fled to the city.

The courtyard was alive with curious energy. The seven guardians, Queen Rosalina herself, and a few dozen bystanders and guards surrounded Jesper, trying to get answers from him. But he was curled up in a fetal position, pale, and unable to speak, let alone stop shaking. When Matthias entered, all looked to him.

"We're being invaded!" Matthias' voice was shaky. Fear still held him but did not cripple as it had with Jesper.

"A sorceress has come through the Star Door. She is opening a portal!"

"Impossible!" said Rosalina. "The door cannot be opened without the Crystal Stars and they are hidden all over the world at the bottoms of oceans and deserts. I hid them myself!" It's not that she disbelieved. She just couldn't guess how it was accomplished.

"There is no time to waste!" Eldisar, the old head of the Guardian Seven shouted to his commanders. Fire burned his experienced eyes. His long white beard swayed in the wind as he moved this way and that giving orders. "Commander Vax, take a troup to meet our enemy on the road. Commander Staves, surround the courtyard and man its walls with archers. Guardians, Queen, we shall stay here with the Star Rod."

The Star Rod floated encased within an enchanted glass in the middle of the courtyard.

Matthias attempted to join Captain Vax's troup but as he came upon Star Road, he found he could not shake the fear spell that was upon him. He gripped his sword and watched from a distance. He could see that the fire circle emitted black smoke, all of which twisted into a vortex in the center of the circle. The vortex stretched into a sort of tunnel made of smoke. An opening appeared at the end of the tunnel as the tunnel itself began to shorten and compress. Within a moment, the tunnel had completely compressed and the opening to the other place was just beyond the ring of fire.

The first thing anyone could see and hear coming from within the portal were brights lights and great roaring. Motorised Cycles. Four of the monstrous vehicles, mounted by the turtle-like Koopa, roared onto Star Road, their headlights disorienting the Spirits for a moment. The Cycles were armed with Bill Cannons on each side. Thwunk, thwunk, thwunk. The massive caliber bullets launched into the oncoming soldiers. As each missile-like projectile was fired, another dropped from a slide into the cannon. Each slide carried six Bullet Bills.

Most of the Star Spirits were already incorporeal for reasons of speed, and so the Bills shot through them as if through a cloud. But a few had turned corporeal in order to attack. The Bills exploded upon impacting with the solid spirits and somewhere in the sky, their stars went out.

As the mass of Nebulus Guard clashed with the four biked Koopa, some of the Spirits materialized just in time to have their blades or spears make contact with bike or rider. The others didn't risk it and passed through them. The materialized weapons had little effect. Koopa shells are nearly impenetrable and their skin is durable. Sparks flashed as blade slid against the metal of the cycles. One Koopa did earn a laceration across his tricep.

Emerging from the portal behind the cyclists, were a variety of footsoldiers including Reishi Samurai, hammer wielding Koopa, spear toting Koopa, and air support from ParaGoomba. Goombas were wicked little creatures. The aggressive beasts were as tall as a man's waist and were mostly a misshapen head, smaller at the top, larger at the bottom, and covered with brown peach fuzz, with a small, menacing face right in the middle. Their oversized mouth was ringed with razor sharp fangs. The creatures usually wabbled with a great deal of speed on clawed feet that were attached without legs to the rest of its body. But these that came through the portal were ParaGoomba. They were winged and therefore twice as vicious.

Trailing the two dozen invaders was the King Koopa himself. He was of a different race of Koopa. He stood about ten feet tall; his shell covered in spikes, his face and dragging tale similar to a dragons. He was one of the last Koopa Dragons, former rulers of their world.

Flying above them all was the witch, casting magic into the fray.

The clash with the footsoldiers was far more successful. They had more time to plan when to flesh out and when to ghost out.

Koopa, Reishi, and Goomba swung, jabbed, and charged the spirits but were rewarded with nothing more than a swoosh through the air, sometimes throwing them off balance. The Nebuli would then materialize and thrust their weapons into their foes. The invaders were swatting at flies they could hardly hit and dodging and blocking strikes they couldn't be sure they were going to receive. The Star Spirits could not materialize a weapon within a solid substance, otherwise they would have had more of an advantage. But every time they did become corporeal, they became as vulnerable as men but with less armour than their enemy. And much less skill and experience in fighting.

The Reishi lept of the thick railing into the air with superhuman agility. They flipped and spun and brought down wrath with all the trained beauty of a master artisan. Their katana blades glinting in the moonlight as they sliced the air. The Koopa trained in the way of the hammer turned what would be a basic building tool in the hands of others into a deadly weapon. Though the hammers were made of malidiom, a black ore as heavy and dense as iron, the Koopa were not slow or clunky in their delivery of blows. When they were able to make contact with a spirit, stars flickered out in the sky. There was no getting up. On occasion, they would let one hammer fly and them summon it back. Malidiom was an ore disciplined Koopa could magnetically manipulate. They could cast it and call it but couldn't freewill wherever they liked.

In their incorporeal form, the Star Spirits could rise into the air in order to descend with all their weight into the churning mass upon the bridge. But often, the ParaGoomba would swoop in on their descent like a hawk after jumping fish.

All the while, the sorceress blasted fire balls this way and that and summoned lightning strikes here and there. She would cast a healing spell on Koopa or Reishi that took a nasty strike. When Nebuli got close enough, she would cast her staff forward and say, "Flesh conceals you!" causing them to become solid at least as long as it took for them to consciously make themselves incorporeal again. This second or two was deadly for the Stars. By now the cyclists had reached the end of the road and turned back around to join the battle. Their Bills spent, the riders now wielded spiked maces. One Spirit took a mace hit as he chucked his spear into the spokes of a cycle, flipping it, sending the rider flying. Another Spirit pushed his sword between the shell and arm of the fallen and disoriented rider. Yet another Spirit dematerialized just as one of the remaining cyclists was about to run him over. The biker hit a ParaGoomba instead. Its pressurized gelatinous insides exploded under the pressure of the tire, launching the bike up and toward the railing of the bridge. The bike hit the bridge while the rider went over and fell who knows how many miles down.

Bodies littered the bridge. Koopa, Nebulus Guard, Goomba, Reishi. Whatever this conflict was about, it was worth many a life. And many a twinkling star in the sky. There was only a dozen of the invaders left this side of the portal but each one had the potential of taking down several Spirits. The odds were not in favor of the stars.

A command was shouted from someone somewhere and a second wave of invaders marched through the portal.

"Retreat! Retreat!" cried Commander Vax when it became obvious he was not going to win this battle. "To the courtyard! Join the others. Defend the Queen and Rod!"

All the Nebuli dematerialized and flew back to the city.

Matthias, who had been spectating all of this was the first to flee, still unable to fully shake off the fear spell.

By the time King Koopa's army marched into the city, all of Star Haven's inhabitants had turned incorporeal for their own safety. Not too far into the city, where the road split, a large raised courtyard sat atop a shallow pyramid of stairs.

Beyond the courtyard was a palace, the upper deck of which was lined with archers.

As the army came to the stair, a hundred arrows were set free on their deadly errand.

The sorceress lashed out with her staff and shouted "Gust!" A strong wind gust blew from behind the Koopa army misdirecting the arrows to random location over and beyond their targets.

On top of the courtyard, gathered the remaining Nebulus Guard, ready to lay down their lives to protect Queen and Rod. Standing before all of them at the edge of the stair were the seven Elders, the Guardians.

Queen Rosalina broke protocol and stepped up beside the Seven to address the invaders.

"Come no further, Bowser, King of the Koopa! You stand before the Seven Guardians of Worlds. You do not stand a chance."  
"Do not bluff with me, Queen," rumbled Bowser. "I have seen much suffering in my world but never respite from any spirit. The fairy-tales have exaggerated your power and your self importance is embarrassing."

Bowser stepped onto the stairs.

"Attack!" Eldisar commanded the remaining three dozen soldiers. As one they flew down the stairs coming upon the Koopa king. With a single breath of fire, the entire force of attacking spirits were consumed. Many were incorporeal and so passed through the fire and Bowser himself. But others were not so fortunate.

The mass of spirits zipped around and through the Koopa King like disturbed bees in a tree, materializing and striking whenever possible. But neither spear nor sword could do anything but annoy spike shelled, dragon as he progressed up the stair.

The Queen and the Seven Elders retreated to the center of the courtyard to protect their sacred Star Rod.

As soon as Bowser reached the upper flat, the Nebulus Guard was called off the attack. It was pointless.

Rosalina stepped inside the force field protecting the Rod. The Elders stood in front of it with hands extended to unleash their power if it came to it.

"Show me your power!" Bowser demanded. He did not miss a beat, walking toward the protected Star Rod. He gave a fiery blast from his scaled snout. Having dematerialized, none of the Seven were hurt but their bluff was revealed. They stepped back behind the enchanted glass case.

Rosalina pointed the Star Rod at Bowser.

"The power of the Seven Suns are not with their spirits. They are here, to be wielded as one by one!" Rosalina was shouting. "One more step and I will unmake you!"

He took one more step and waited so that all could see the lack of power in the relic they all put their faith in.

Rosalina turned incorporeal in order to stop her nervous sweating. Bowser's fists clenched. The air sizzled and popped around him as if an energy was building and concentrating on this single spot.

Bowser slammed his fist into the glass-like force field. It shattered in a million directions, each shard glowing with blue colored magic. For a moment it seemed to rain blue luminescence in all directions around the Queen who held her arms over her face as if it would actually hurt her.

The Rod fell to the ground.

Bowser retrieved it. It was as tall as a man and masterfully crafted from an ivory colored substance. It was topped with a seven sided dark glass. Each of the seven corners were hidden behind tree shaped ivory. The seven trees branched out to form a canopy of branches with seven small colored crystal stars amidst them just like the Star Door. Within the dark glass shone seven tiny spheres of light - like little suns.

Bowser turned and addressed the city.

"Star Haven is now under the occupation of the Koopa."

"Never!" Matthias dared to shout. His head was reeling from what he just witnessed - or more from what he just failed to witness. His defiance was more an attempt to summon up hope than true conviction. "We will never submit! And you can't make us! You can't even touch us!" His voice creaked and betrayed his lack of faith.

"Kamela, the cards," ordered Bowser.

The sorceress withdrew seven magic cards and fanned them out before her. She hovered up and over the stairs to her king, displaying the cards to the Elders.

"Spirit cages! Nebula Burning!" Eldisar swore. "But how…."

It was all he could get out before Kamela tossed the cards. Each card absorbed one of the Star Spirit Elders into itself before falling to the ground. Kamela reached out her hand the cards returned to her.

A disgusting pride emanated from the amphibious king.

"Your Queen has proven herself powerless," he boasted, "and your elders are captive. For the sake of your elders, it would be best to submit to your new leadership. Your Queen will henceforth answer to General Glabb." The monster motioned to a Koopa who made his way up the stairs.

"Any sign of rebellion and an Elder will die. That is a promise."

xxxxx

"General? A word, if I may?"

Star Road had been cleaned out. The dead and wounded were cared for and now all those that had no reason to stay were walking back to Kamela's portal. One of General Iwata's samurai were whispering to him, careful that no one would overhear. The General nodded for him to speak.

"If the Stars commissioned us, why are we fighting them?"

Now the General looked around to see that he would not be heard.

"Do not be deceived. We are not fighting them. We are playing into their hands. Bowser is a fool. He knows nothing. The Stars can create and destroy galaxies. Bowser thinks he has won a victory over them. But be assured, this is all part of their plan. I do not pretend to understand what their will is. If they want us join Bowser in his folly, so be it. Let us not lose faith."

The samurai sighed and appeared to take his leader's advice, setting his face like flint to press through his own doubts.

xxxxx

Matthias watched with disbelief as he saw all the weapons of Star Haven taken through Kamela's portal along with the cards that imprisoned his Elders. Kamela had closed the portal and set up in its place a lampstand lit with a magic fire, perhaps to re-open the portal from the other side if needed.

It couldn't really end like this, could it? In one fell swoop, his world was turned upside down, his beliefs rocked to the core, his city conquered, and his heroes fallen from their pedestals.

Kamela was walking back to the Star Door. She was probably going to remove the Crystal Stars from the other side so that people in the Mushroom Kingdom couldn't use the door. He had heard that most of the Koopa did not get along with most of the Mushroom Kingdom.

No! He refused to believe it! Contrary to everything he witnessed, he would not except that it was over. Contrary to everything he was taught, he would not believe he was just a simple star incapable of doing what others couldn't.

The brown skinned teen grit his teeth, knowing that what he was about to could risk the lives of his elders.

He flew at his fastest speed over Star Road right toward Kamela. If only he could take her staff, he could turn things around.

She must have seen his reflection in her staff topper because she turned around before he could stop himself.

"Flesh conceals you!" she shouted.

Matthias was now flying through the air by the shear force of his momentum. He was going to crash into her. But no, she swung her staff with magically increased strength and bludgeoned him across the side of the head. This redirected his remaining momentum over the side of the bridge into the moonlit clouds and the miles of freefall.

He would have regained his spirit form if he could. Instead he just fell and let gravity take him. Star Road and the Islands of Star Haven grew smaller above him while blackness crowded the edges of his vision. It felt like a dream watching the encroaching blackness overtake his disappearing homeland. Suddenly the dreamlike state faded into a true dream. And total darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Brooklyn

On the curved glass face of the old fashioned television set was the image of a heavily mustachioed, slightly overweight, middle aged man, with a thick head of brown hair. He was all too obviously superimposed over a backdrop of New York City. The lighting reflecting on his shoulders did not at all match the lighting of the blue-screen images behind him. The man wore a grey, pocketed T-shirt over jeans and was wrapped with a toolbelt full of tools.

"Hey, look at a me! It's a Mario!" the man on the TV said in a seemingly exaggerated Italian accent.

He thrust his fist into an uppercut, emulating the mid-air pose of a long distance jumper. This pose was accommodated by a cartoonish BOING sound as pathetic film editing attempted to make the man leap high into the air.

"And I'm a Luigi!"

Now a taller man in the same uniform, sporting a similar mustache and a family resemblance bound up into the city sky.

The two men landed on a tall building's roof.

"And we're Mario Brothers Plumbing!" they said in unison as pixely graphics formed their logo. The Mario Brothers jumped off the building and into a manhole on the street below. As they descended (way too slowly) into the hole, another cartoon noise could be heard - as if entering a hole made a sound. It was a Zhunk Zhunk Zhunk sound.

At this point, bad, eighties' video-game-sounding music starting playing while the Mario Brothers rapped back and forth in a superimposed sewer tunnel.

"We're the Mario Brothers

And we're here to say

If you have a plumbing need

Call us right away.

We're affordable,

Adorable,

Pipe fixin' pros

If you need a plumber

Call the Mario Bros!"

This last line was said in unison.

After the rap, the scene switched jarringly to one in which the brothers were portrayed by retro computer graphics. They were tiny pixelated sprites carrying plungers, jumping on platforms, unclogging green pipes that were in the four corners of the screen.

At the center of this image was the Mario Brothers Plumbing logo again and their phone number. Suddenly the eighties' video game music ended mid-measure and the screen went blank.

Mario and Luigi stood speechless, staring at blank TV screen long seconds after the commercial played. They were wearing the same attire as they were in the ad minus the toolbelts. Standing beside them in the small apartment/video production house was a tall, skinny man in his late 20's with an expectant look on his face.

"Well?"

The brothers turned from the screen and faced him.

"Wow!" said Mario.

Luigi ran both hands through his hair, his face betraying his shock.

The other man beamed with pride.

"I gotta say…" Mario began. "At first, as you know, I was against doing the rap, but now…..Now that I see it all put together….."

Mario whistled.

The slender man smiled even wider.

"Now that I see it all together," Mario continued, "I want my money back."

The man's shoulders and face dropped.

"I thought you went to film school, Walter," Luigi said.

"That has got to be the worst commercial I have ever seen," said Mario. "Is this a joke? Are you just messin' with us? Where's the real one?"

Their real life Italian accents were not as strong as they were in the video.

Walter put both his hand up.

"Hold on, now. I did go to film school. But this was my first job. I didn't have any equipment. And you only paid me $300. 300 bucks doesn't go a long way when you are buying editing gear on ebay. If I had better gear, I could do more."

"What's up with all the old video game stuff?" asked Luigi. "It kinda reminds me of that old arcade game, Super Jump Man. Mario, don't you have that as your ringtone?"

"The invincibility music from Jump Man, yeah."

"Retro gaming," said Walter. "That's the theme. It's what I was going for."  
"I can see that much," said Mario, "but what does retro gaming have to do with plumbing?"

"It's just cool. That's all. Do you really want your money back?"

"No," said Mario. "I was just messin' with ya. You're a good kid. You can keep the money. Just don't air this video."

"And don't let your sister see it." added Luigi.

"Well, I couldn't air it if I wanted to. You didn't pay me enough to buy air time. But I did put it online yesterday."

Walter hesitated as if he had something he did not want to tell them but knew he had to.

"It went viral. It already has 20,000 hits."

"In one day?!" exclaimed Mario.

"Has Pauline seen it?" asked Luigi, looking sincerely worried.

"I don't know."

"Can you take it down?" asked Mario.

"Do you really want that? You're getting a lot of attention. And besides, I can't totally take it down."  
"What do you mean?"

"Someone has already ripped the video and reposted it. I can take down mine but the other one will still be up."

"Mama mia!" exclaimed Luigi, running his hands through his hair again.

Mario's phone rang with the sounds of frantic 8-bit music .

"Oh, yeah, Super Jump Man. Cool." said Walter.

"Mario Brothers Plumbing," Mario answered the phone. "Delvecio's? Yeah, I know where that is. I love that place….You saw our ad online?...No, no problem….Sure, we're on our way."

"Boo ya! I got you business!" said Walter, beaming again.

Mario threw a couch pillow into his smug face.

xxxxx

The Mario Brothers' box truck rolled up in front of Delvecio's high end gourmet Italian restaurant. Their truck bore the same block letter logo from the commercial but also had crudely drawn cartoon caricatures of the brothers, making them look squat and bulgy eyed, each wearing overalls.

Mario and Luigi equipped themselves with the right tools and toolbelt from the back of the truck with all the confidence of seasoned warriors suiting up in armor. They were good at their job and they knew it.

Mr. Delvecio himself came rushing out to meet them.

"Mario Brothers! I'm so glad you could make it this quick. We've got a bad back up. Sewage is coming up from the floor drains. We can't use any sinks or flush the toilets. We can't open. Don Domingo, the famous food critic is scheduled to come tonight. A good review from him would mean good business for me. If we can't open, there's no telling if he'll come back."

The man spoke urgently.

"Not to worry, my friend," Mario comforted. "You'll be operational in no time. Please, show us where the issue is."

Moments later the issue was assessed and an electric snake was run through a cleanout.

"Mario, I'm definitely hitting something." Luigi was yelling over the noise of the snake. "Can't break it up, whatever it is. It's about 25 feet down. Probably about where the line dumps into the sewer. Gonna have to check it from there."

Outside the establishment, Mario and Luigi set up cones to divert traffic and then used pry-bars to lift the manhole cover in the center of the lane.

"Hey, I know you! You're the affordable, adorable pipe fixin' pros!"

A blue haired teen walked toward them, holding his phone out, apparently filming them.

Mario shook his head climbed down into the sewer. Luigi, on the other hand, decided to play along.

"Word to your plumber!" he said as he folded his arms in mock hip hop fashion before kissing his fingers and extended a peace sign in the teen's direction. "Peace out!"

The teen laughed. "Oh my God, that was awesome! Thanks!"

Luigi now climbed down into the dark, dank sewers of New York City. He flipped on his head-lamp.

Mario was already investigating something 20 yards away.

"What do you see?" said Luigi.

"I think I found it. Check it out. This seems to be where Delvecio's dumps into the sewer. But look here. There's something stuck in the pipe. It's like a….turtle or something."

But as Luigi approached something else caught his eye.

"Hey Mario, did you see this? What is it? Some kind of flower or something?"

Something glowed on the ground a few feet away from where Mario was standing. Luigi turned off his headlamp to better see its glow. Whatever it was was about 3 inches tall and had pedals atop a stem.

"Mario, look. This is weird."

Mario turned and saw it for the first time. He flipped off his headlamp and bent down next to Luigi to examine it.

"It's got some sort of bioluminescence."

The odd flower was mostly blue with lines of red and shimmering white on the pedals.

"It's growing in poop. Maybe that turtle stuck in the pipe pooped out a seed."

Luigi reached out and touched it gently. The light wavered, dimming just a bit for a second. Mario repeated the action.

Luigi then plucked the flower but as he did, all the glowing bioluminescent faded, starting with the pedals and ending at Luigi's fingers.

"Hey! What happened?" Luigi asked, disappointed.

"I don't know. That's weird. But I think you killed it."

"Humph."

"Hey, come check out this turtle thing."

Mario stood up, flipped on his headlamp went back to the pipe that was at about eye level and barely dripping fluids.

Luigi turned on his lamp took a look.

"How did a turtle get all the way up there?!"

"I don't know but look at it! It's like no turtle I've ever seen before. It's kinda reddish. And has spikes coming off its shell."  
"What! Let me see."

Luigi nudged Mario out of the way for a closer look.

"Yeah, you're right. I think that's how it got stuck. It's clogging up the line. If we free the turtle, the rest should flow out. Man! That's a one a weird a lookin' turtle! When we get it out, I'll take a picture of it and show it Pauline. Maybe she'll know what kind it is."

"Whoa! Look at this!" said Mario.

Mario was running his hand along the sewer wall just below where the clogged pipe was supposed to empty out to. There were small holes in the concrete. Two lines of them starting from the floor of the sewer.

"You don't think those are claw marks do you?" asked Luigi. "From the turtle? You think he climbed up the wall?"

"That's what it looks like to me. If it did, that one bad turtle!"

"Well, I'm not sticking my hands in there to pull him out!"

"No," said Mario. "Get the tongs from the truck."

Minutes later, the brothers were heaving on the old set of tongs, trying to pry the spiked, red turtle from the pipe. They were making progress, however slowly. Its thick, short spikes dug into the pvc, dragging trails along the inside of the pipe. As the creature shifted, brown liquid in increasing volumes seeped past its body over the plumber's gloved hands.

Finally, with one last grunting heave, the large turtle burst free, falling with the Mario Bros. backwards into the sewage as the pipe exploded chunky brown water over them. More fearful of the turtle they just saved than the disgusting sewage that now drenched them, Mario and Luigi jolted up and out of the way. Good thing too. The frightened turtle snapped at them.

Luigi, with one eye on the monstrous beast, slid off a glove, removed his phone from his pocket, and took a short video.

"Should we just leave it here?" Luigi asked.

"Well, I sure as heck ain't gonna carry it up."

"Let's get out of here. He doesn't look to happy. And after seeing what he did to that concrete…."

"Say no more!" Mario ran past the red turtle and ascended the ladder out of the manhole with Luigi on his heals.

Mr. Delvecio came running out to meet them as they clamored out from below the street.

"I heard gurgling. It it done?"

"We're the Mario Brothers. Of course it's done. We always get it done," said Mario.

Delvecio was so excited he almost gave them hugs but stopped short when he realized they were covered in sewage.

"Normally we'd clean up the floors," said Luigi, "but as you see we're not too sanitary ourselves."

"Oh, no! Don't worry about it. We'll clean up. You just saved the day. I'll go get your check." Delvecio stopped, considering something. "I'll tell you what. Why don't you come by tonight? Bring a date. Both of you. Get whatever you want. It's on the house."

Mario and Luigi looked at each other. More was said in their look than Delvecio could guess. Such as, "Date? Who are you going to bring? Who am I going to bring?"

"We'll still get a check, though?" asked Mario.

"Yeah, yeah, of course. I just wanted to give you something extra."  
"Well, thank you. That's very generous. We'll see you tonight."

xxxxx

Luigi let the warm shower water wash away his long work day as he thought about how he might ask Pauline to the restaurant. He knew Mario would not approve but it was about time he minded his own business.

Satisfied and refreshed, he turned the water off and reached out of the shower curtain for his towel. Not feeling it at first he reached further. Suddenly he felt a warm sensation in his palm and saw a flash. Popping his head out of from the curtain, he saw that his towel had burst into flame. He jerked his arm back, slipped on a bar of soap, and pulled the shower curtain down on top of him. The flame on the towel started to lick at the ceiling. Luigi held both hands out from his position on the shower floor as if he could motion for the fire to stop. But the action caused a blast of fire to burst forth from his hands, further igniting the towel.

Luigi screamed. He turned the shower back on and tried to aim the head at the towel but the stream would not reach. He tried cupping and tossing the water but that was even less useful. Finally he grabbed the towel from the only part that was not on fire and yanked it from the rack, throwing it into the shower water. The shower curtain melted under the towel's flames before the water extinguished it.

The bathroom filled with steam and smoke. Luigi, naked, sat on the toilet seat and stared at his palms, wondering what just happened. For a half second, his palms lit up. It was just enough time to duck, avoiding the blast of fire that was aimed at his face. The fire singed off his side of his hair and hit the fire sprinkler on the ceiling, setting it off along with the fire bell.

Luigi stared up at the water cascading out of the sprinkler.

What the heck was happening?


	3. Chapter 3

Professor Elvin Gadd, or Professor E. Gadd, as his students mockingly referred to him, would not be in class today. Not that he'd be missed, mind you. Why kids these days were willing to spend so much of their parents money on attending such nice schools as Columbia University and yet pay no attention to their studies was beyond him.

And what's not to love about bio-chemistry? It potentially held the secret to life. And it was the "magic" behind the mushrooms and flowers from the Mushroom Kingdom. But he couldn't tell his students that much (though he was tempted to if only to stir their interest in the field).

No, Professor Gadd would not be in class because he had been trekking through a perilous tropical rainforest of another world all last night and this morning.

He had recently discovered that he accidentally left a warp zone (as he referred to it) open the last time he was in this part of the world mapping out the zones. There's no telling what could have crossed over. The consequences could be disastrous.

He knew of at least one thing that crossed into Earth's realm. The alpha male gorilla from the rainforest. He found that out watching the news in New York. Nobody knows where it came from. It was found in the sewers. They assumed an exotic pet owner had lost it but no progress was made on finding out who that might be.

Without the alpha male, the other gorillas in the forest had lost any semblance of order they might have otherwise maintained. Their community fell apart and individual gorillas were attacking species they did not usually harass. Their need for their leader was fascinating. He would have to study that further in the future.

Now was not the time. The most pressing thing now was to find the warp zone and shut it.

Warp zones were similar in concept to the portals made by the Koopa Magi. Both required fire. Professor Gadd knew more about warp zones than about the Magi's portals. That was another study he would like to pick up in the future if a Koopa Magi would actually share its secrets with him. Unlikely.

Something caught his eye. Yes, there to the left a few dozen yards away. Something un-organic reflected in the sunlight. A rusty, green painted pipe stuck up from some wide leaved plants. The pipe was wide enough for a few people to climb into at once. This one was only about 5 feet high. It was still a difficult climb for Elvin who was only 5'4" himself, had a prosthetic leg, and lacked the upper body strength of those who spent less time in academics.

Once he clamored into a straddling position over the side of the pipe, he could see the light of his lamp 15 feet below.

How long had he left this zone open? 6 months? He shivered at the thought of what would happen if someone from Bowser's army discovered the zone. Or if the wrong people from beyond the zone found it.

Gadd climbed the ladder down the pipe. He was now standing in another pipe, this one horizontal and much wider, with several inches of water at the bottom.

The water did not bother him. He came prepared, wearing waders over his suit and white lab coat. He wore the suit, hoping to close the zone and still make it to class on time, which he now knew was impossible.

He waited a moment for his transition lenses to transition and then picked up his starfire lantern he left there so long ago and walked on. It was the light of this special lantern that made the warp zones work.

Had the professor turned around as he walked on, he would have seen the built-in ladder and the vertical pipe fade away with the diminishing starfire light, replaced with the red brick ceiling of a Brooklyn sewer, barely illuminated by the dim work lights. But he had seen the effect hundreds of times.

Last time he was here, he left the lamp in order to make it easier to find the warp zone when he was done exploring. Only, following the winding and forked tunnels in an attempt to find a way out of the sewer, he had gotten lost and was never able to find the spot again. It didn't help that he soon forgot about the zone altogether, taking advantage of another, more accessible warp zone to get to the City. But this time, he had a map of the city's sewers and knew how to identify markers that told him where he was. He removed the sewer map from his pocket, made a marking, and used it to find his way to the nearest street access.

xxxxx

"Pauline, there's someone here to see you. A professor."

The oversized thermometer beeped in Pauline's hands and she slid it out from under the sleeping gorilla's armpit, read it, and turned to her colleague.

"Thanks, Jon. I'll be there in a minute."

She was in a special care room in the Bronx Zoo where she conducted a large portion of her studies on the gentle giant.

Wait! A professor? Maybe he know something about Donkey Kong. Maybe he'd seen him on the news and knew what kind of species he was.

She hurried out to the front gate and saw him at once. He was the only one wearing a lab coat.

"Professor? Hi, I'm Dr. Bennett. Can I help you?"

As she reached out her hand to shake, a lock of thick dark hair swept over her face.

"Yes, uh, hi. I'm Elvin Gadd, professor of biochemistry at Columbia University."

Biochemistry? Not the type of professor she was hoping to meet.

There was an awkward silence as she waited for him to continue.

"Oh, uh, I'm here about Donkey Kong," he said when he got the hint that it was still his turn to speak.

Donkey Kong? Maybe he does know something!

"Yes, uh, you see, I am his owner."

For a heartbeat, Pauline's world crashed around her. The young doctor had made a career and and, quite honestly, a friend out of the gorilla. She couldn't bare the thought of losing him now. But then reality hit. She narrowed her eyes in disbelief.

"You are? Ok, ok. That's fine. All I will need is some proof of ownership and we will release him back to you."

"Um. I don't really have any proof of ownership."

"Well, what happened to it?"

"I never had any."

"So, what, then? Did you purchase him illegally or did you kidnap him illegally?"

"You don't believe me? He's my gorilla. I can prove it if you let me see him."

"How so?"

"He'll recognize me."

"That doesn't mean you have the right to take him. It's been a half a year since we found him. He's been all over the news. You work here in New York and you wait till now to come and claim him?"

"I didn't think you would believe me."

"What made you reconsider?"

He opened his mouth but no answers came.

"How did you lose him? Where did you get him? What species is he?"

"He comes from a rainforest very far away. He's a gorilla beringei cantankerous."

"A gorilla beringei cantankerous."

"Yes, what?"

"An argumentative gorilla? That's his species?"

"Hey, I know of nobody but myself, and now you, who have ever studies this species. I named it."

"I thought you were a biochemist."

"Among other things."

"Like exotic animal thief?"

"Let me just see him. I told you he'll recognize me."

"Humor me for a moment. What did you name him?"

"Same as you did. Donkey Kong. It's the only obvious name. It's the only thing it can say and it's always saying it. Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong."

The professor beat his chest emulating the gorilla.

"As a man of science, as I believe you are, I'm sure you understand how invaluable a new, unidentified species of talking gorilla is. And being a man of the world, as I assume you are, you must also know that what is invaluable in some circles is quite valuable in other circles."

"I'm not as much of a man of the world as you think I am. And I don't care about money! I care about his wellbeing. He doesn't belong here. He belongs where he came from!"

"He seems pretty happy here to me. A lot happier than when he was found in the sewers! Is that how you take care of him? If you really did own him (and I use the word "own" loosely), where did you get him? And don't tell me some rainforest far away!"

"It's unmapped territory. We just call it Donkey Kong Country."

"I think I've heard enough from you. You can stay here if you wish. Or you can leave. Either way, I will be calling the FBI and have them start an investigation on you, Professor Elvin Gadd of Columbia University."

The professor's mouth dropped. Again he tried to form words but failed. Dr. Pauline Bennett watched him turn and walk away frustrated. People like him needed to be locked up. Perhaps the FBI would turn up some info about where Donkey Kong really came from. Time would tell.


	4. Chapter 4

One fireball followed by another streaked through the air and exploded upon a couple metal trashcans, sending them flying and crashing against the sides of buildings in the alleyway before landing in a smoldering heap of crushed metal and burning waste. It sounded like a bomb and people peeked out from windows and doors to see what happened.

Luigi stood far back on the opposite side of the smoking cans, feet braced, palms face-out, grinning like a child who got away with stealing.

The city dwellers turned their curiosity and accusatory glances (and voices) toward Luigi who obviously had something to do with the cacophony of destruction that stirred them from their comfortable routines.

"I think I'm an X-Men," Luigi said honestly. "I think I'm a real life X-Men!"

The New Yorkers, being used to the occasional back alley, bumbling idiot, gave him a piece of their minds which was due for said bumbling idiots and disturbers of their peace.

Luigi, dressed in plaid pajama pants and a White Snake shirt that no longer fit nor covered his belly button, and who had half of his scalp singed bald over his left ear, smiled at the unknowing pedestrians then blasted a half dozen fire-bursts into the air to show off his new powers.

"Oi Vey! I'm moving to Florida!" Luigi heard an elderly woman say.

He left the alleyway before anyone could question him. He wouldn't have any answers. Why was fire shooting from his hands? Had he evolved into the next level of human? Was he even human at all? He knew nothing of his birth parents. Maybe because they didn't live around here. As in planet Earth.

I watch too many movies, he thought to himself.

He had to tell someone about his new powers. Had to show them. Mario? No. Pauline! He had to show Pauline first. Then ask her to dinner at Delvecio's. Then he would tell Mario at the restaurant.

He hitched a cab, still paying no heed to his ridiculous outfit. After he set off the fire sprinklers in his bathroom, he grabbed whatever clothes his hands touched fist and also his keys and wallet and ran outside to test what he thought might be powers.

He left the door unlocked so that the fire department wouldn't have to break the door when they got there.

He had learned in the alleyway that he could will various levels of power to his fire-blasts.

"To the Bronx Zoo, please."

The cabby looked the dishevelled, patchy haired, oddly dressed, stranger over and shook his head.

"Meth labs are dangerous business," said the cabby in a heavy Indian accent. "You should say no to drugs."

Luigi couldn't guess what he was referring to.

xxxxx

Daisy Dunham's home phone rang and the robotic female voice of the caller ID informed her she had "a call from Mario Brothers Plumbing."

Mario?!

She excitedly jumped for the phone but then abruptly stopped short of picking up the receiver. Why was he calling? What would she say? What if she screwed this up? It could be nothing. It probably was nothing. But what if it wasn't? Oh, how she wanted it to be something! But oh, how she didn't know what to do if it was!

The brothers came by on call last week about a toilet that was leaking whenever it was flushed. Mario, who she found out was the older of the brothers, cracked jokes the with her the whole time they worked. Which wasn't long. They had the toilet unfastened from the floor, a new wax ring installed, and the toilet back in position in twenty minutes.

But it seemed to her that Mario enjoyed her laugh. And quite frankly, she enjoyed his enjoyment. Every time she laughed, his eyes would twinkle with a smile.

Long after the job was done, he leaned against the counter, telling stories and trying to make her laugh more.

When the first awkward gap in the conversation came up, Daisy quickly offered to make the boys some tea before they could use the opportunity to leave. They accepted and Mario looked relieved not to be the one to say he had to go.

Over tea, the conversation turned to more heartfelt topics such as the importance of teachers (Daisy was a teacher) and how unfortunate it was that they did not get paid their worth. Those were Mario's words.

Mario told a story about how it was a teacher who had really helped him and Luigi get their feet on the ground when they first migrated here as children. They couldn't even speak English at the time and didn't have any parents. They were staying with an Italian chef in Little Italy. But it was this teacher who took time with them, teaching them how to read and speak English, coming over to tutor, and encouraging them to be whatever it was they wanted to be here in the land of opportunity.

Mario and Daisy talked until the end of the work day. Luigi, on the other hand, looked like he felt terribly awkward and wanted to leave as soon as the job was done. Daisy, assuming Mario was the boss, and seeing that he was having a good time, ignored Luigi's facial expressions.

When the brothers finally left, Mario gave Daisy his card. She already had his number. She had called for a plumber after all. But she took the action symbolically. He was giving her his number. It was part of the flirtation ritual.

But a week had gone by and no one had called the other. Until now. Was she the one that was supposed to call? What if she was reading it all wrong and he's just a friendly guy who only seems like he's flirting?

The phone rang for the 4th time and she knew it was about to go to voicemail. She picked up.

"Hello. This is Daisy."

Be cool, Daisy. Don't be too forward.

"Hi Daisy, this is Mario….."

Be cool. Be cool.

"Mario who?"

No! Too cold! Way too cold!

"Oh! Uh, the plumber. Mario Brothers. I came by last week. Remember?"

"Oh, right. I never got a bill. Is that why you are calling?"

Awkward. Stop pushing him away! Stop being so weird.

"No, no. That was on the house….."

Mario seemed to be searching for words. Daisy certainly didn't have any.

"So, can I help you?" she finally said.

"No. Well, yeah. I was just checking to see if….well...I was just making sure your toilet wasn't still leaking."

"Oh, no. Dry as a bone. It's working like a worker."

Working like a worker?! What was she saying?!

"Oh, alright then. I guess that's it. Just wanted to make sure Mario stays the best name in plumbing."

"Yep."

"K. Good. Well, have a nice day."

"You too…..wait! Uh…"

She knew she couldn't let the conversation end like this.

"Yes?" Mario sounded hopeful.

"My shower keeps dripping. It's only a little. Doesn't really bother me. Not until it gets real quiet anyhow. Maybe you could come by when you get a chance and fix it? I want to pay you this time though."

"Oh. Ok. Yeah, I can come by. Tomorrow good? 12:30-ish?"

"Yeah."

"Ok. I'll see you then. Have a nice day."

"Yeah. You too."

Dang it!

She threw the receiver into the couch cushions, frustrated, feeling like she just killed a budding relationship.

xxxxx

Mario hung up the phone feeling more disappointed than he thought would be if he was turned down. But that was it. He wasn't turned down. It was far worse. She didn't even remember him. And here he was thinking they really hit it off.

He had a list of four people he considered calling to ask out to Delvecio's tonight. Daisy was the first on his list. But after talking to her he realized he wasn't interested in calling anyone else. What he had with Daisy was special. Well, it was to him anyway. Even if it was only one directional. He'd just have to go the restaurant without a date.

He wondered what it would be like to be a third wheel tonight. Oh well. Didn't matter. It was worth it for the food.

But who would Luigi bring? Probably Beatrix, his neighbor. She was a sweet girl. Sure, she was a little homely looking but she was sweet, there was no doubt about that. He better not ask Pauline. He had warned him about that. She was way out of his league. She was beautiful and smart and….beautiful. He was only setting himself up for heartbreak. Mario had to comfort him after heartbreaks enough times in the past. He wasn't about to let him get his heart broken again. But boy! She was beautiful. Mario wondered if he might not ask her. No! Stupid! He couldn't do that. That was just wrong.

Mario plopped onto his couch and thought about Daisy and sighed a lungful.

And then he thought about the next best thing to love: meatballs.

xxxxx

Donkey Kong was awake and healthy and active and in a good mood. Which put Pauline in a good mood. Tonight was the big night. The night when she would showcase this extraordinary newly discovered species to the world. This species who, by the way, was not cantankerous.

So far there were no obstacles, no hiccups, nothing to prevent this from being historic.

"Do you want to play a game?"

She said it both with her voice and with sign language.

"Donkey Kong! Donkey Kong!" the excited gorilla said as he nodded his fist like a head nodding in agreement, the American Sign Language sign for "yes".

Good. They should practice some games. They would be playing games tonight to show the world his understanding of complex rules, his coordination, and his gracefulness.

"What would you like to play?"

Donkey Kong looked around the outdoor play area that was constructed just for him at the Bronx Zoo. The gorilla made a sign for basketball.

Pauline picked up a ball and started to dribble it, egging Donkey Kong to take the ball from her. He swiped his arms but missed. He swiped again, this time taking the ball with enough grace not to hurt Pauline or knock the ball away. He then dribbled as he walked toward the hoop set up in the corner of the play area. He picked up the ball and tossed it into the hoop.

"Donkey Kong! Donkey Kong!" The gorilla beat his chest, proud and excited for his reward.

Pauline gave him a hug. The furry giant responded better to affection than to any other sort of reward.

"Hey Pauline,"

She looked. It was Jon again.

"What's up?"

"It must be weird visitor day for you."

"Why? Someone here to see me again?"

"Yeah. But you gotta see this one!" Jon whistled.

She couldn't think of who it might be.

Jon's warning wasn't enough to prepare her for the sight that met her at the Zoo entrance.

It was Luigi but he looked like a maniac. He was barefoot. A lot of his hair was missing. His clothes didn't fit and he was pacing and fidgeting.

"Luigi?"

"Pauline! Let me show you something." He took her by the hand and tried to lead her somewhere but she pulled away.

"Luigi, you look and sound like Fire Marshal Bill."

"Who?"

It was from an old TV show, if he didn't know, she didn't feel like explaining it.

"What happened to you? And why are you dressed like that?"

"I had to leave the house. I set the bathroom on fire. That's what I want to show you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Come out here. I don't want anyone to get hurt. And I don't want to set anything on fire."

"Luigi, are you OK?"

"Come, come."

He was acting crazy. She followed him out toward the parking lot.

"Luigi, what's going on?"

"I have powers. Fire powers!"

She looked incredulous.

"No, really. Watch this!"

He cast his hand out, away from any cars. Nothing happened. He tried it again. And then with two hands. But nothing happened.

"Luigi, are you on drugs? No, seriously, did you take something."

"I don't understand." He was staring at his hands for a moment then seemed to remember something and moved his hands away from his face.

"I've got to remember not to stare at my hands. I met shoot fire into my face. I almost did that earlier."

"Luigi, I'm scared for you. What happened? If you took something, you can tell. I will help you."

"Flame on!" Nothing happened.

"Hadoken!" Pauline recognised the sound and action from the video game Street Fighter. Luigi was trying to throw a fireball like from that game.

"Luigi! Stop! Get in my car. I'm going to take you to the hospital."

"What?! No! Really, I'm not on drugs. Just a little bit ago, I was able to shoot fire from my hands. I set my bathroom on fire and then I blew up some trash cans outside. I don't know why it's not working now."

Pauline did not believe a word. But she was deeply concerned for her friend.

"Is it possible that someone slipped you something and you didn't realize it?"

"But I set off the fire sprinklers in my house! I wasn't hallucinating."

"Will you still let me take you to the hospital? Just to get checked out?"

"No. I'm fine. I just don't understand."

"Ok, look, if you won't let me take you than I think you should go home and rest and then call me tomorrow. See if you still think all this really happened or not."

She looked at her watch.

"I'm really busy right now. I've got to go. Unless you will let me take you to the hospital? I'll put some stuff on the back burner for that."

"No, wait! You can't go yet. I have a question. Would you like to go to Delvecio's with me tonight? As a date? A double date actually. Mario is bringing someone too."

Pauline's jaw dropped. He shows up high as a kite, looking like an escapee from a mental ward, and of all day, under any possible circumstances, he chooses to ask her on a date today?! Like this?!

This angered her.

"Good bye, Luigi!"

"What? Wait! What?! Where are you going? What did I say? Pauline, wait…"

His voice faded from her ears as she closed the door behind her.

xxxxx

Mario, clad in a black jacket and bow tie over a pressed white shirt, sat anxiously at the ritzy restaurant, awaiting the awkward moment when he would have to explain to Luigi and his date why he didn't have a date. He tried out a dozen excuses in his mind but they were all pathetic.

Before he could land on a good one, a hostess guided his brother to the seat across from him at the table set for three.

Luigi wasn't as dressed up but neither did he look out of place. He wore a starched blue shirt tucked into white slacks. But he was also wearing a white fedora.

"What's with the hat? Don't get me wrong, I like it. But…?"

Luigi lifted the hat for a second to show off his singed scalp.

"Whoa!" Mario chuckled. "What happened?"

"It's a long story. So, who'd you bring? She in the bathroom?"

"Na. I didn't invite anyone. Where's your date?"

"You think my head looks bad? You should see my pride."

"You think your pride looks bad? You should see your face." Mario chuckled again. "But seriously, what happened? No. Don't tell me you asked Pauline?"

"I did."

"Ahh man, I told you that wasn't a good idea."

"It's not what you think. She thinks I'm on drugs."

"So do I but why does she think so?"

"Something happened to me. Something she doesn't believe. Honestly, I don't think you'll believe it either. But people saw. People can verify it."

"Well, what was it?"

Just then they were interrupted by a waitress getting their drink orders. She looked at them curiously but then said nothing of what she was thinking. When she had left, Luigi explained the odd experiences of his day.

"I think it had to do with that flower we found today in the sewer."

"That was weird. But what about it?"

"I think it did something to me. Something that only lasted for a couple hours."

"You think it acted like some sort of drug? Did it make you high? Did you go see Pauline high?"

"No. But she thinks I did because she can't believe what really happened. I think it gave me...powers."

Luigi paused to see how Mario might react. It was too ludicrous to react to. Instead Mario just waited for him to continue.

"Fire powers. Like, I could shoot fire from my hands. I accidentally set my bathroom on fire. And my hair. Then I went outside and realized I could control it."

Luigi quickly defended himself when Mario looked incredulous.

"A lot of people saw it. Just ask any of the people that work in the buildings off the alleyway behind my apartment. Anyway, by the time I got to the zoo and tried to show Pauline, the powers were gone. She thought I was a fool. I would have too. It wasn't until later that I remembered the flower. That's the only thing I can think of that could explain it. It was glowing and then the glow kinda sept into my hands, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember but I've got to be honest with you, bro, I am having a hard time believing you myself. But, here's a theory. What if the flower really did drug you? What if it is some sort of psychotropic? And you just hallucinated all that stuff?"

"Na. I got back to the apartment and my towel was still burnt to a crisp. It really happened Mario!"

The waitress came back with their drinks.

"I know why you look so familiar!" the young waitress said. "You're Mario Brothers Plumbing! From youtube! That's the funniest commercial I ever saw!I watched it like a hundred times."

The brothers did not know what to say. Mario almost made some excuse for it but changed his mind when he saw how much she actually appreciated it.

"What I don't get though is, if your name is Mario, why are you called the Mario Brothers? Is Mario your last name too?"

Luigi smiled and let Mario handle this one. They were used to the question. The answer was well rehearsed.

"It's just what people have always called us since we were young," said Mario. "We never knew our real last names. We were orphans. And since Luigi was more quiet, and I was more social (as kids, at least) more people remembered my name. And when they would talk about us both, they would just refer to us as the Mario Brothers. It kinda stuck."

"Well, that is very interesting. Ok, I will give you more time to read the menu and I'll be back in a few minutes."

xxxxx

Elvin Gadd stared at his warped reflection in the wine glass that he had just emptied. HIs brown hair wasn't as neat as he would usually have made it before going to eat at a fancy restaurant. Neither was he dressed in his best blacks and whites. He normally honored (not to mention loved) the culture of Earth. But as it was, he still wore his the same labcoat over his standard teacher's get-up. The reason for his lax etiquette? He knew he probably wouldn't be coming back to New York anytime soon. If Dr. Bennett made good on her threat, the FBI would be asking all sorts of questions - some of which he wouldn't be able to answer - not without risking one or both of the worlds he now called home. It looked like it was going to be good bye teaching. Good bye nice equipment at Columbia. Good bye Starbucks. Oh, Heavens! He was going to miss Starbucks!

Anyhow, he wasn't going back to his Manhattan apartment, where he might have been able to freshen up. And since he this was probably his last day here, he might as well blow his dough at the nicest restaurant around. Delvecio's.

But what to do about Donkey Kong? He had to get the gorilla back to Donkey Kong Country. Perhaps if he used the mushroom…

He considered this. He had brought one of the mushrooms from the Mushroom Kingdom. He was only half Earth-human so it wouldn't have as strong as an effect as it might on a full Earth-human but it would give him greater strength and agility. He could use it to break into the zoo and…...And then what? Well, he did bring a Toadsman hat. The giant mushroom-looking hats could be dehydrated and shrunk to a tiny portion of its original size, making them easy to carry in a pocket, as his was. He could put it on before breaking into the zoo. Donkey Kong would surely recognize a Toadsman and follow him home to his own world. But how would he get him out? He pondered this as his plate of veil was handed to him.

xxxxx

Mario's phone chirped. It was a reminder he programmed into the calendar. He looked up at Luigi.

"Did Pauline seem mad when you asked her out?"

"Yeah, kinda. Why?"

"Do you know what today is?"

Luigi thought about it. Nothing came to mind.

"It's the Donkey Kong Showcase!" Mario said.

Luigi deflated.

"Oh no! How could I forget?! This has been all she's talked about for months! This means the world to her. She really wanted me to come! I even bought a ticket!"

Luigi dropped his head onto the table.

"It's about to start. They're broadcasting it live on . We can watch it here."

Mario moved across the table to Luigi's side, sat by him, and set up his phone for Luigi to see.

xxxxx

Elvin's ears perked up at the name "Donkey Kong" which someone at the table behind him just said. He turned around. Two mustachioed gentlemen were bringing something up on a phone. He stood and approached their table, hoping just to peek over their shoulders without being seen. But they noticed and turned to face him.

"I happened to overhear you talking about Donkey Kong. I'm a huge fan. What are you bringing up?"

"The Donkey Kong Showcase. It's just starting now."

"That's today?"

"That's what I said," commented Luigi.

"Where is that?"

"Marriott Marquis on Broadway."

"That's what? A half hour away in this traffic?"

The stout man holding the phone looked at him but didn't answer. Doesn't matter. WIthout another word, Elvin ran off.

He ran into the kitchen, bumping into waiter, knocking over his tray. As he dodged his way through the kitchen as fast as he could, he jacket snagged on something and caused him to spin and fall on the floor. He righted himself and bolted out the back door, around to Mulberry St, and toward Avenue of Americas.

He reached into his pocket. A cab could get him there in a half hour but a mushroom could get him there quicker - even with his prosthetic leg. Only, for reasons he could not bother to try to explain at the moment, the brown paper bag that held the mushrooms was gone. All he had was the shrunken mushroom hat.

He stopped by the road and whistled for a cab.

xxxxx

"Mario! Luigi! I am so happy you are taking advantage of my offer! What's this? No dates? Have you ordered yet? If so, cancel it. You must try the black truffle ravioli!"

The passionate Mr. Delvecio was apparently not one for staying too long on a single topic - too long as in more that a second and a half - nor was he one for letting anyone else get a word in.

"Don Domingo is here right now. He is done with the main course and is now ordering desert. He tries to keep a poker face but I can see through it. He is loving it! And it is all thanks to you! Thank you again, Mario Brothers! I must go now and see how my crew is preparing his desert. Talk to you later."

He was gone as quickly as he came.

"He's letting us get truffle ravioli? That's a $60 dish!" said Mario.

"That's generous of him. But I'm already set on the calamari. Hey, look, she's bringing him out."

Mario turned his attention to the phone screen. Pauline walked toward the side of the stage and let the gorilla take her hand as she led him center stage.

"Check it out. They got him to wear a necktie!" said Luigi.

The tie was bright red and had a yellow "DK" written in a stylised font at the largest part of it.

When Donkey Kong heard the cheering crowd and saw the flashing of cameras he seemed to get excited and want to show off. He pounded his chest and chanted the only thing he could, "Donkey Kong! Donkey Kong!"

Pauline pointed to her cheek and the large gorilla bent down and kissed it to the crowd's delight.

"She's really good with him," Mario pointed out.

xxxxx

"Where's the truffles? Anybody seen the truffles?" The Chef de Partie was shouting over the noise of the busy kitchen.

"In a paper baggie over there." The pantry chef pointed to a stainless steel table.

The Chef de Partie walked to the table and saw the bag on the floor near it.

"You guys gotta be more careful! These things are expensive!" he yelled at those around him as he opened the bag.

"Are you sure these are them? Never seen truffles like this before."

"Yeah, I'm sure," said the Pantry Chef. "Boss just picked 'em up today from a new truffle dealer."

"These ain't black truffles."

"Yeah, I know. We don't have any black truffles. Delvecio wants to use these instead."

"Ok." The chef knew better than to question Delvecio. What he didn't know was that the real bag of truffles was still on the table behind some dishes. These were something completely different.

xxxxx

The steaming plates were set before Mario and Luigi. The savory scent made their mouths water. They still sat on the same side of the table watching the Donkey Kong Showcase on the phone. The talented gorilla threw darts, played a round of floor hockey with some volunteers, and even drew shapes on a large canvas upon request. The crowd loved it. The gorilla seemed to love it.

Mario took a bite of his food.

"Oh man! Mmmm! Holy cow! No wonder this dish cost so much! Mmmm!"

xxxxx

Professor Gadd had to bribe his way into the conference hall since he had no ticket. $200 later he dropped his expandable Toadsman hat into someone's glass of water. The hat sucked the water up and Gadd had to take it out of the cup before its pressure shattered it. He shook it out and punched his fist into the inside. It was full size now. Though the small amount of water enlarged it, it did not make it feel wet. Such was the properties of the alien material. He slid the hat on and tried to position himself in the auditorium so that Donkey Kong would see him.

It didn't take long. These types of hats are not exactly inconspicuous.

Donkey Kong froze. Then he started screaming violently. The noise was piercing causing many to cringe and cover their ears. The gorilla hopped around in circles, apparently undecided about what to do. Security guards rushed onto the stage and seemed to be asking Dr. Bennett for advice. Even she looked worried.

Things were not going as Gadd had predicted. Donkey Kong was supposed to be excited to see someone from his own world and rush to join him.

Instead he was now throwing toys and sports equipment into the crowd at him, causing those nearby to scramble out of danger.

xxxxx

"Mama Mia! What's going on?" Mario's wide eyes were fixed on the phone screen.

"I hope she is safe. Who is she yelling at?" said Luigi.

"I don't know. Someone in the audience."

Donkey Kong hid behind Pauline.

"Why is she shoo-ing the guards away?" asked Mario.

"She doesn't want Donkey Kong to get hurt. Come on, Pauline, get out of there!"

"Look at the corner of the screen! Is that the guy who ran out of here?"

"Is that a giant mushroom hat? What is that?"

Guards tackled the man in the mushroom hat but still, Donkey Kong was not settled. He screamed again, picked Pauline up, jumped of the stage, and ran out of sight of the cameras.

"Pauline!" Luigi yelled, helplessly.

Mario stood up abruptly, knocking over his chair. "No!" he yelled. He slammed his hand on the table, somehow breaking it in half. He then bolted out the front door.

"Mario?"

Luigi ran after. Once outside he saw something his brain could not completely make sense of. Mario was running through traffic faster than the cars. There was no way Luigi could catch up to him. As Mario came to an intersection, a car who had the right of way zipped through, straight at Mario.

Luigi cringed but did not shut his eyes.

Mario jumped into the air ten or so feet high and twenty or thirty feet far, over the car.

What was happening?!


End file.
